I remember being 12 years old and thinking, “I don’t want to grow up.” Somehow, I sensed the responsibilities and challenges of adulthood looming. Fortunately, the changes were gradual, and I grew into it.
Today, however, I see many more families struggling with children who avoid or reject responsibility. They can’t or won’t grow up. This is the ‘Peter Pan Syndrome’ and they are getting away with it. I’m sorry to say that a great deal of this is on you and me, the parents. With all good intentions, we have stunted our children’s growth.
At birth, we are responsible for their every need. As they grow and learn, we begin to give them more responsibility. Unfortunately, many parents are still controlling too many aspects of their child’s life by the time they hit the teen years. At a time when children are seeking their identity and increasing independence, we may be sending the message that we don’t believe they are capable of taking care of themselves, or of learning to do it. And if mom and dad are going to take care of everything, what incentive do they have to step it up?
If we want them to grow up, we have to STEP BACK, LET GO, AND LET THEM GROW. This is a gradual and necessary process. The sooner you start, the better off they will be, and the less aggravated and worried you will be about them and their future.
(Thanks to Joseph Gauld for inspiring this tip. Joe is the founder of Hyde School, and author of “Nature’s Parenting Process – 5 Simple Truths to Empower Our Children.)
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