Body image is an important, and often life-long issue, more so for women than for men. With unrealistic portrayals of girls and women in the media — TV, movies, magazines, and more — it’s no wonder so many feel lacking. Many moms are unknowingly teaching their daughters to be self-critical because the moms are doing that kind of negative self-talk, too.
Julie Brower, a Certified Teen Life Coach, is guest-blogging for us this week. She has a mother-daughter tool to share with you in “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, I Look in the Mirror and I See Only Flaws.”
Almost every teen girl and woman thinks there is something about her physical appearance (hair, face or body) that she dislikes or wishes she could change, especially when she looks in the mirror.
What about you? When you look in the mirror, what do you first notice about yourself? Is it your beautiful eye color, flowing hair, high cheekbones, or magnificent smile? Or do you notice a pimple, wrinkle, crooked nose, and flab in places you don’t want it?
If you’re like most females, the first thing you see is what you don’t like about yourself. Think about it: how much more often do you put yourself down when you look in the mirror versus noticing what you DO like?
This week’s Mother-Daughter Self-Love Tool is Mirror, Mirror On the Wall.
Ask your daughter to join you in this seven-day challenge. Pledge that you will both look in the mirror and compliment yourself daily. You can do this together or separately. If done separately, agree to keep each other accountable.
The Process: Every day for seven (7) days, as you put your make-up on, or brush your teeth, (occasions when you are most likely in front of a mirror), say (out loud or to yourself) “I have great eyes.” or “I have a pretty hair.” “I look good in these jeans.”
It might feel a bit awkward at first, but it gets easier each day you do it. You can say it quietly or in your head, but pick one thing a day for seven days that you like about your physical appearance, and compliment yourself. I promise, looking in the mirror will actually start being fun!
Fun Tip: You and your daughter can write on your full length or bathroom mirror with lipstick. Write statements like: I like my eyes, I have a great smile, I have thick hair and every other positive attribute about you.
Note: Do a practice run with your daughter, hold up a small mirror or compact and have her do this exercise. If she’s having a difficult time identifying anything she likes, look in the mirror with her and compliment something (or a few things!) about her.
Julie Brower is a Certified Teen Life Coach, Health Coach & Teen Yoga Teacher. She has helped hundreds of teen girls gain knowledge, tools, confidence and courage to make decisions from a place of self-knowledge, self-respect and strength. Through one-on-one coaching, group workshops, events, parties and movement, Julie connects with girls on their level and gets results. For more information, contact her at Julie@juliebrower.com.